Reverb 10 Project

Day 16 - Friendship

“How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?” - Martha Mihalick

While I’m someone who is always full of energy, I’m not someone who always has the most positive attitude. So I had asked “Little Miss Sunshine” (as she will be known from here on out), who is an avid bookworm, if she could recommend a good book for me. Something to help me look at the struggles in my life more positively. Basically, I wanted to wear the same 24/7 smile on my face that she always has on hers.

She recommended I read “Zen and the Art of Happiness” by Chris Prentiss.

So I did.

And it helped.

A lot!

The book is short, just 160 pages. I read a couple chapters each night before bed and in 3 days I had a new perspective on life. Granted, the book didn’t really teach me anything new I didn’t already know. But it did help drive home some important messages that I needed reminded of. The main one being…

“Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me.”

So even if you lose your job, lose your girl and get diagnosed with cancer, you CAN look at all three things as something positive in your life. You CAN create a personal philosophy that will sustain you through anything. ANYTHING!

I CAN wear a 24/7 smile on my face too. Smile. Stuck.

And to “Little Miss Sunshine,” I say thank you for the book. Thank you for the knowledge. Thank you for the smiles. Just, thank you.

Day 15 - 5 Minutes

“Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.” - Patti Digh

• the happy tears of relief streaming down my 6-year-old niece’s round cheeks when the doctor said my sister would be ok
• completing a 35 mile extreme endurance hike
• allowing myself to fall in love
• apartment shopping in Manhattan
• adopting a new side hustle in Tahiti with my Uncle, buying/selling black Tahiti pearls
• teaching my Bulldog how to snowboard and skateboard - I’m a proud Papa!
• getting 2 more KOs in amature MMA
• perserverance - having an extremely rough year with my company and being able to turn it all around and expand before the year comes to a close

Day 14 - Appreciate

“What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?” - Victoria Klein

My Grandmother.

On October 28, 2009 my Grandma left me a happy birthday message. I saved that voicemail for an entire year! You know, just because. Because she was 90. And…well, yeah.

This year she turned 91 just before my 2010 birthday.

My 2009 birthday wish was granted - I was given another year with her.

Saying I cherish every year with her is an understatement. Saying I cherish every month or every day with her is an understatement. I cherish every minute. Every moment I’m blessed to have her in my life. Her wisdom. Her stories. Her laughter. Her love.

And her hugs! My Grandma gives good hugs.

Day 13 - Action

“When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?” - Scott Belsky

I’m in the process of writing a Bucket List, which is rather ironic considering #1 on my Bucket List is…

#1 Write a Bucket List.

And while completing the actual writing of the Bucket List is an important step, I’ve found what’s more important is actually completing each item on that list. A partial list is currently stored in my head and I’ve been able to mentally scratch a few of the items off already! For example…

#8 Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and swim under the Golden Gate Bridge.

I hope to scratch off a handful more in 2011.

Correction. I don’t “hope to.” I will.

December 12 - Body Integration

“This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?” - Patrick Reynolds

If by “integrated” you mean completely freaked the fuck out, then yes!

It was during my first official yoga class. More specifically, during the meditation period of it. I wrote a blog post afterward trying my best to explain it. Here is an excert from it…

“When I’m told to close my eyes, I see a kaleidoscope of images, similar to when you think you’re about to die. But instead of scenes from my life flashing before my eyes, I am presented with a highlight reel of emotions I’ve experienced over the years. They present themselves to me as tiny snapshots. Joy, sadness, rage, etc. Strong and sometimes graphic still images from periods in my life I either willingly forgot or never want to forget.” - Kaleidoscope Soul

I seem to be saying “fuck” a lot in these Reverb posts. I apologize. That’s not very Zen-like of me.

Day 11 - 11 Things

“What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?” - Sam Davidson

1. Negativity - I make a point to surround myself with positive people who add to my life and happiness, not take away from it. Unfortunately though, sometimes toxic relationships form and negativity finds a way of creeping in. If negative energy is being pushed onto you, or even if you are the one sending the negative energy out, recognize when it happens and end it quickly before it further manifests itself. 

2. Indecisive Women - They’re into me. Then act like I don’t exist. They want me. Then don’t want me. But they will want me again in 2 weeks. ENOUGH! It’s so confusing! I’m done with women that only want me when it’s convenient for them. I’m done with the emotional push and pull! I have a pattern and it’s attracting and being attracted to indecisive women. In 2011, I break this pattern. I want a woman that not only knows what she wants in life, but also knows what she wants in terms of a relationship. And to be 100% clear on whether or not that person is me.

3. Social Media/Being Connected - I’m just going to say it. Even as a tech geek, I love being unplugged more than being plugged in. One of the reasons I love snowboarding so much is because I escape to the mountains and leave the digital world behind - meaning, no laptop or cell phone goes with me! People are obsessed with social media! But it’s not healthy to keep tabs on what everyone else is doing 24/7. Which is why I’m continuing to put even more distance between myself, Twitter and Facebook. 

4. Diet Pepsi - I blame my sister for this. She got me hooked on it, which was easy to do considering the fact I don’t drink coffee and often need a late day caffeine fix. Even with 0 calories, it’s full of sugar! So cutting back to a can or less a day is my goal.

5. Comparisons - Just like it’s not healthy to keep tabs on what everyone else is doing, it’s also not healthy to compare yourself or your life to everyone else’s. Of course this is always easier said than done. The key is to find inner happiness and to live your own life in a way that is not only purposeful, but also meaningful to you. Live on your own terms, not anyone else’s.

6. Sadness - 2010 was kind of an emotional roller coaster of a year for me with many highs and lows. Much of it involved riding out a rough wave of sadness. Hopefully 2011 will bring calmer water.

7. Stress - Do I even need to elaborate on this one? We all could use less stress! And while most of us will never be stress-free, we can greatly cut down on the amount we suffer from. So I will continue to mix as much exercise and play in my life as I can in an effort to counter all the daily stress my job brings. AKA, balance seeker.

8. Self-Doubt - This is a little different from self-confidence. Because self-confidence I have. But I am a self-doubter, at least when it comes to my own writing. I HATE MY OWN WRITING! I constantly second guess myself and think whatever I write is total shit (this included). I’m my own worst enemy and my biggest critic! This is something I really need to work on.

9. Reminiscing - It’s good to hold onto memories. It’s just not good wrap yourself up in a blanket of nostalgia! The “coulda, shoulda, woulda” instead of “can, will and am.” The “it was” instead of “it is or is going to be.” There’s nothing more depressing and detrimental to growth than living in the past. Put the memories in a box, frame them on a wall and move on. Life is about MAKING memories, not reliving them.

10. Expectations - Want a sure fire way to be constantly disappointedand and let down in life? Place expectations on others to live up to your standards - to meet your needs and desires, to do what you would do. Instead, expect little of others and see if they surprise you. I guarantee you’ll be happier in life for applying this mindset.

11. Bullshit - Other people’s and my own.

Day 10 - Wisdom

“What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?” - Susannah Conway

Earlier this year I ran into some financial problems with my company. Not ready or wanting to sell, I had exhausted every possible solution to getting the company back on track. The only way out of the mess was to make cuts - a layoff. But instead of laying off any of my employees, I chose to layoff myself instead. Well, in a sense.

I continued to work, even longer hours than ever before, but didn’t collect a paycheck. I was working 60-80 hours a week, for weeks, without bringing home a single dime.

I felt like a failure. Back to where I began in my earlier startup years - working without a paycheck. I was embarrassed and greatly disappointed in myself. For the longest time I told NO ONE about what was going on. Not my friends. Not my family. Not my employees. Not having a support system made it even harder, but my own stupid pride was responsible for that.

Although, that difficult decision to “lay myself off” turned out to be the wisest decision I’ve made all year. Because now in the final quarter of 2010, I’m on track to tripling my company’s revenue. Go me!

Day 9 - Party

“What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.” - Shauna Reid

What happens in Vegas…

You know how the saying goes. So it’s kind of hard to write about one of the best parties (or 4 day party) of the year without breaking the cardinal rule!

I will say this though, it included every element necessary to make an extended weekend in Vegas 100% complete! Although the weekend did end with a coked up model (or claimed she was a model) who nearly ODed in my hotel room. That put kind of a damper on the last night there, but that’s nothing a midget and a barnyard animal couldn’t cure!

Obviously, I’m kidding about the midget and barnyard animal. Unfortuently though, the overdosing model was real. And having someone nearly die infront of you is really scary!

Day 8 - Beautifully Different

“Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.” - Karen Walrond

Oh jeez. What makes me beautiful? What makes me different? What makes me beautifully different?

Why do I feel so uncomfortable in being asked that question, let alone attempting to answer it!

Am I beautiful? Am I different? I would like to think yes to both, but I really have no idea. I think someone who knows me well would be better suited to answering those questions…along with whether or not I have the ability to light anyone up. Do I possess that ability? (Also, beautiful is no way to describe a boy.)

Ok, now I just sound like I have low self-esteem. Not the case. But I really don’t think of myself as being beautifully different or touching anyone in such a way that I “light them up.” I know people in (or have been in) my life that are so incredibly beautiful and different than anyone else I’ve ever met that they light me up like the 4th of July! But I am rather clueless on the impact (to what degree if any) that I have on them.

All I know is that I’m like Noah meets Mother Goose. For whatever reason, animals and little kids flock to me! Anytime I’m in a room and a dog or a toddler is present, they end up crawling into my lap, usually uninvited. I don’t know if that makes me beautifully different. But there must be something about me that is good, or kind, or cuddly, or who knows. Maybe they think I’m hoarding cookies and that explains it.

If you know what makes me beautifully different, please share! Because right now, it’s a full blown mystery to me!

Day 7 - Community

“Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?” - Cali Harris

I think nearly every blogger participating in Reverb10 that hears the word “commuity” instantly thinks of 20SB and BrazenCareerist. I joined 20SB when it was around 200 members and have watched it grow to over 15,000 members! And when BrazenCareerist had just launched, I remember Co-Founder Ryan Paugh e-mailing me about the site to ask if I would be interested in signing up. At the time I didn’t know who he was, how he found me, and had no idea that BrazenCareerist would be as big as it is today. I almost dismissed his e-mail as spam. Of course, I’m thankful that I didn’t. Because these days, Ryan and I plan Bulldog playdates in Brooklyn together. (Something that wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t for this little blogging community we are all a part of.)

When I started blogging, I never really expected anyone to read what I wrote. Nor did I care if they did, or didn’t. I just assumed that I would fly under the radar and my blog would be among the billions of others that are lost in cyberspace. Then something happened - an online community formed. And with it, friendships. They formed within the comment boxes of my blog, within the comment boxes of other people’s blogs, on 20SB, on BrazenCareerist, through e-mail, through Twitter, through Facebook and…IRL (in real life) as they say.

That’s the great thing about blogging. It opens a whole new world to you! And with it, people from all around the world that you may have never knew existed if it wasn’t for that one common interst that connects every blogger of every age, sex, religion, and race - a love of writing.

I like to see this continue through 2011. And in addition to connecting on a more personal one-on-one level with other bloggers, perhaps I’ll attened one of the bigger 20SB Meetups, a Tweetup, or SXSW.

Building a blog is fun. Building a community is funner!

* SIDE NOTE: I know “funner” isn’t a real word, but just go with it.